No-Van’s Land

No sooner has the the final whistle sounded in the final of a major international tournament than PTD (also known as “Post-Tournament Depression”) sets in. If indeed each World Cup or European Championships is a fiery summer romance between game and fan, then the following twenty-four months is akin to a long distance relationship; despite the comforting prospect of forthcoming domestic seasons across Europe and the familiar routine that accompanies them, they lack the intensity that we experience for those few weeks of every summer during years ending in even digits. However just like a holiday romance, paradoxically it is their transience that makes them so appealing – it is those moments that are the most brief that we desire more of, yet to attain more of them would in turn make them less desirable.


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Why Suriname Would Have Won The 1998 World Cup

“Across the river lay a peculiar land. The key to its peculiarity lies with its earliest visitors. They’re misfits and dreamers, running away after years of destruction” John Gilmette, 2011

Suriname (aka Surinam and formerly Dutch Guiana) is sandwiched between (British) Guyana and French Guiana in the North East of South America. The indigenous inhabitants were interrupted by European settlers in the 16th century and the region soon became part of the British Empire. However in 1674 the Dutch struck a deal with the English, trading New Amsterdam (then a small trading post in North America, now referred to as ‘New York’) for Suriname; while NYC is indesputably the bigger tourist attraction, there is no doubt that Suriname has produced a far greater stream of talented footballers than the banks of the Hudson and arguably enough to put forward a squad capable of winning France ’98. Read the rest of this entry »


“I Bet Clarence Didn’t Have To Put Up With This Shit.”

“You watch it last night? We were bloody awful.”

“I thought we looked pretty good. Albeit intermittently…”

“There was a real lack of creativity though, eh?”

“You think?”

“Yeah. The midfield constantly seemed to be going either backwards or sideways. When they got a kick, that is.”

“Oh, absolutely; I thought were solid but unspectacular in the midfield.”

“Didn’t look very sharp going forward either..”

“You what? I thought the front three looked incredible!”

“Front three?”

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